2-R-1-N Christ Marriage and Relationship Ministry - So they are no longer two, but one.  Mark 10:8
RSS

Recent Posts

A Marriage Not Just A Wedding
A Marriage for Three
Butterflies
Happy Marriage Day
Falling In Love Everyday

Categories

Courting while married
Guest Blogging
Love tips
Mentoring
Tending the Garden
powered by

My Blog

I've Been Married for Twenty Years Without One Argument

I would like every married couple who has been married for at least one year to sixty years to raise your hand if you have never been angry with each other. I should not see any hands raised. If there are a few all I can say is :"Lies you you tell!!!" In the voice of the famous Tamar Braxton-Herbert.  There is no way that you can love someone and never have an angry moment. I have to admit my husband and I have been married close to forty years and while we have not had many blow ups we have had a few.

Disagreements is part of life. They will happen. A married couple should expect them because you can't always be on the same page on everything. So if we expect this to happen then we must put a solution in place when anger comes between the couple. First we must be honest with each other. Many arguments begin because one or both of the spouses are angry. They might not let the other one know that and before you know it they are  fighting over how to crack and egg. The problem was not the egg issue but the anger over something that was not conveyed to the other. 

When you are honest with your spouse about what has caused you to be upset then you open the door to a sound conversation and allow the love to replace the anger. Next you have to remember that anger will go away but the love won't. Your marriage is more than just an angry moment and so always look at the bottom line and that is the loved shared between the couple.

Agree to disagree and then go into neutral corners. Just like a prize fighter when the bell is rung the opponents move to a place away from each other. This is something that must be done so that each spouse can think about what's going on. During that alone time don't think about what's making you angry but look at the total problem. Attempt to look at both sides. Take your emotions out of it. Both spouses should separate for at least one hour. The first half an hour to calm down and the next half to think about your actions and your love. Plan to come together after the hour and converse calmly. If you still disagree then leave it alone for now and kiss and make up. Bottom line is the love. Pray together that a sound solution can be reached and no further problems come from that angry moment.

Learn to speak using your "I" words and never push blame on the other by using "you" words. Explain yourself from your own perspective. You can not speak for your spouse only for yourself. You might have heard it different from what has been said. By saying "I thought that ....." You are expressing the way you heard it or interpreted it to mean. This opens the conversation so that your spouse can explain what they were saying and why. Many times it was not meant the way you heard it or felt it. 

Don't go to bed angry. Remember to clear up the problem even if you have to pray on it to have a solution before you go to bed. You have to leave it alone and move on to the next level. When this is done then harmony and peace will remain in your marriage and before you know it the love is stronger than before.

If it appears that you are always angry at each other or arguing then you need to have an intervention with a Christian counselor, your pastor, or a marriage mentor. If you don't have any of these people to talk to then get with an older married couple who can offer some wisdom and insight. Join your marriage ministry group at church. Get with us here on the net and send us your questions and concerns. 

Last but not least learn how to say "I'm sorry" and "I made a mistake"..."Will you forgive me". Sometimes that's all it takes to fix the problem. However don't just say the words but mean it and provide change with your actions. Always remember that you love this person and have vowed to spend the rest of your life with him/her. 

As you grow in marriage remember that there will be times when you disagree. Once that happens then put your plan into action to solve the problem or problems and get back to the business of loving each other. Make sure God is the head of your marriage and seek Him first and then follow his leads. Never speak bad about your spouse to others because anger is short lived and you will be back together before you know it. You don't want your small marital problems to be the source of the next Facebook gossip. 

As the above picture suggests " Love is caring for people even when you are angry."



8 Comments to I've Been Married for Twenty Years Without One Argument:

Comments RSS
college essays on Wednesday, July 19, 2017 11:13 PM
We’ve concentrate your everything of the records a couple elements are additionally valid and some by and large are splendid. Incredible distribute I might want to thank you for the endeavors you have made in composing this exciting and educated article.
Reply to comment


troubleshoot sound problems on Tuesday, June 26, 2018 5:27 AM
Hey friends if you are facing any type of sound issue in your OS then must try my link
Reply to comment


Elie Hirschfeld on Friday, July 06, 2018 11:50 AM
Yes, people married because its part of our lives and we need to do it for good life. If you like someone goes and merry with him or her.
Reply to comment


wizessays on Wednesday, August 08, 2018 4:39 AM
That’s great! The initiation of writing workshops for students is a great step forward. Not only will this help them develop their style and broaden their vocabulary but will also encourage intellectual dialogue. Additionally, children will be more inclined to spend their free time writing instead of engaging in other non-productive activities.
Reply to comment


bestessays review on Thursday, August 23, 2018 2:42 PM
I guess you are just a lucky person. Hope you will live a happy life!
Reply to comment


test on Tuesday, October 02, 2018 12:41 AM
test
Reply to comment


livecareer resume review on Wednesday, October 03, 2018 12:39 AM
"Your marriage is more than just an angry moment" is the line that I love the most from what you shared. Apologizing only takes two words, but its impact is huge. But your apology will be considered invalid if you won't make an action to change your wrongdoing. Don't let your emotions control you. Always keep in mind that you should not make any decisions when you are mad. Thanks for giving these advices! I know that there is no perfect relationship, but we can always make everything work.
Reply to comment


picbear on Wednesday, November 06, 2019 2:01 AM
It is really great post and i really enjoy when i am reading this article. Thank you for sharing this great post with us. It is really happy to see this. To download free nice photos on instagram, please coming our home: picbear
Reply to comment

Add a Comment

Your Name:
Email Address: (Required)
Website:
Comment:
Make your text bigger, bold, italic and more with HTML tags. We'll show you how.
Post Comment