I didn't want to talk about this. I know you don't believe me but really I didn't want to bring this up. I was determined not to talk about celebrities and their marriage. I was just going to let this one slide on by. But we have to face the fact that we are a marriage and relationship ministry and we are always looking at what's current about marriage in the news.
Unfortunately we have those people who are in the limelight at all times and while its not always fair but even when they are having troubles in their home we are all up in it. Most of you have already deduced that I'm talking about the recent announcement to the break up of Seal and Heidi Klum. How could this have happened to them? This was the couple who had been married for 8 years and every year except this one they renewed their wedding vows.
I was shocked when I found that out. How sweet I thought...how focus....what a wonderful way to place your marriage under the words that you said on that day. Many of us don't even remember what we said to each other. That day was a flash in most of our minds. We had worked so hard for that day and then all of the emotions and the words hitting your heart and before you knew it you were married and it was time to let go and have your party and cake.
Then marriage hits you and reality sets in and whatever you said that day not only did you forget but you wish you never said any of it. Those marital seasons hit you and as I've said so many times many of those hard seasons makes you want to really throw in the towel. But that is the real of marriage. The wedding day is just the icing on the cake of marriage. It's the highlight.
It is not the marriage. While I really don't know what this couple's problems are from an outsider looking in what I see is that every year they renewed their vows they wanted to be in the wedding day moment. It was not the words of the vows that was important it was the icing on that happy day cake. We can get addicted to wanting to be in the spring of marriage forever.
It's a very nice season. All is fresh and new. The future looks bright and your worries are low. You are in that love with life mode and you don't have to face the real. While the concept of renewing your values yearly sounds good maybe what they should have been doing is learning how to work pass that season of promise and then working with those vows to keep then strong during the difficult seasons. Again looking from the outside in it appears that while every year for the first 7 years you played and kept starting over and over with vow renewals then when the 8th year came that real winter season the only way to handle it is to separate and seek the divorce courts. Then go public after each year before you stood smiling again after having your vows being read to you over and over.
This is the winter season that your marriage is in and you need to buckle down put on your warm clothing and shovel the snow. The cold, freezing weather that makes you just want to quit and sit someplace warm doing nothing. The season when in marriage no matter what you do or say things are cold and you are angry for no reason. It appears that your household is falling apart. That the person you married is no longer the love of your life and you just want out. You want to take a vacation to a warm tropical paradise and wait out the cold season.
In marriage you just can not do that. This season while cold and harsh is so needed. Its needed just like during the real winter it clears the air. It kills the germs and prepares the ground for spring and planting. It puts you in close confinement where you have to deal with each other. Where you have to face what's in front of you...where you have to deal. This is the season that you grab each other's cold hands and you run to Jesus.
You run and you fall down together on your knees seeking His direction and comfort. You reach out to your pastor and marriage mentors. You throw yourself into marriage ministry looking to find comfort in your searching. You turn on your computer and you find us. Marriage has difficult seasons but those that have walked through them can help you see your way clear. That's where those wedding vows come in.
That's when you remember for better and for worse.
In richer and in poorer
To have and to hold
In sickness and in health
Until death do us part
The winter season is the time that you reflect on those vows. You stand on the word of God. You cling together so your marriage can stay warm. You pray and pray and then pray some more. You speak life into your relationship. If you find that the two of you are pulling apart for whatever reason it is then find out ways that you can reconnect.
While it was stated that they lived very busy lives and their businesses kept them apart then they needed to see what really mattered. God, the marriage, the family, and then business these are the things in that order thats important. We all need to work we must earn our living but after our basic needs are met we must really look at our wants. We must seek the Lord's guidance and ask Him where to place our energies. We must always make and plan time for a date night. Daily time to talk about each other's lives and we must share our hearts during the winter seasons more than another season.
What we must not do is run. Give up. Throw in the towel because just like the real winter season it always comes before spring. Ever notice how much more we appreciate spring after we have a very hard cold and difficult winter? The seasons are needed in life. In a marital couple's life you must stand strong together and then vow to love your way through whatever is facing you.
I have been in prayer for Seal and Heidi and their family. I heard an interview that he did where he spoke with so much love about his wife that I really feel with some mentoring and Godly support they will be a happy couple again. Remember Jesus said He will give us His peace. The Holy Spirit gives us love and joy. Happiness is a byproduct of joy. You want to have the fruits of the Holy Spirit during this time in your life. I will continue to keep this couple in prayer.
I still feel for them because we should not have to know all of their personal business but that is also part of what they give up for fame. I pray over all married couples because right now marriage is being attacked by satan and we must stand strong and together praying for one another.
So as I said I really didn't want to speak about this but its needed. You never know maybe some of the celebrities will read this and find a way to live and love in a marital state of bliss. Or as close to it as possible.
So when you are in the cold of winter remember that spring is right around the corner. We love to officiate over the couples who are just starting their marital lives. While the vows are said with love and sincerity we always have them seal their vows with God's Word. We leave you with this very scripture that we have all of our couples say together. We leave this for you and for us so that we can remember this during our harsh seasons as well.
Entreat me not to leave you, or to
return from following after you, for where you go I will go, and where you stay
I will stay. Your people will be my people, and your God will be my God. And
where you die, I will die and there I will be buried. May the Lord do with me
and more if anything but death parts you from me. Ruth 1:16-17